A Nigerian woman has opened up about a deeply challenging dilemma she is facing, torn between following her pastor’s advice and supporting her hardworking husband in his efforts to provide for their family. In an anonymous message to a relationship adviser, the woman shared the emotional struggle she is dealing with after receiving counsel from her pastor, a fatherly figure in her life, to stop allowing her husband to touch her until he finds a job. The advice was sparked by the pastor’s disapproval of her husband, despite his persistent efforts to make ends meet, even through manual labour.
She explained that, although her husband holds a master’s degree, he had resorted to working as a labourer to support their family. The turning point in the situation came when she unexpectedly saw her husband working on a construction site, carrying blocks and sand. Deeply moved, she found herself in tears, grappling with how to reconcile her husband’s determination to provide with the advice she had received from her pastor.
Despite her husband’s dedication and the money he brought home, she found herself unable to accept it, as she was caught between her loyalty to her pastor and her compassion for her struggling spouse. Her heartache deepened when her 8-year-old daughter also cried after seeing her father working so hard, further weighing on the woman’s emotional state.
The wife shared the following account:
How My Pastor Made Me Punish My Husband
“My pastor warned me to stop allowing my husband to touch me until he gets a job. He does not like my husband and this my pastor is like a father to me. My husband is good and struggling.
“My husband is good and struggling. Yesterday, on my way back from work, I saw my husband doing conkeri work, he was carrying blocks and sand in a building close by. I cried my eyes out. He got home with the money and gave it to me. I refused. My pastor said that he needs to keep doing it.
“I am confused because, even this morning, he has gone back to the site and he has a master’s degree. Please, my daughter, who is 8 years old, cried herself to sleep yesterday when she saw her father. I am emotional about this whole thing.”
