Social media commentator Mpa Kelechi has reignited discussions on the challenges of modern marriages by drawing comparisons to the survival strategies adopted in earlier generations, particularly within his family.
In a recent Facebook post, Kelechi reflected deeply on his upbringing, sharing personal anecdotes about how his father’s refusal to provide basic necessities, such as food during marital conflicts, became a turning point in his mother’s life. He revealed how these difficult circumstances inadvertently pushed his mother to become a resourceful businesswoman. Despite the challenges she faced, his mother made a deliberate choice to stay in the marriage, prioritizing the family’s stability over personal grievances.
Kelechi contrasted this resilience with what he perceives as the fragility of modern relationships. He criticized the growing trend of individuals ending marriages over disagreements that do not involve physical abuse or other critical issues. He argued that the modern narrative often prioritizes individual mental health at the expense of long-term marital commitment.
In his post, Kelechi advised women, particularly those entering marriage, to acquire valuable skills and financial independence beforehand. According to him, this preparation would help them manage financial challenges within the marriage and potentially prevent unnecessary separation.
How my father’s neglect turned my mother into a resourceful wife
“I remember while growing up if my mom and dad had a problem, my father would not provide food for a week or even a month sometimes, leaving my mother to shoulder all the responsibilities. It’s not right for a father to do that, but we, her children, quickly understood that something was wrong. My mother, instead of leaving the marriage, used the situation as an opportunity to learn business skills and became the pillar of the family during those tough times.
But today, in this generation, any minor marital quarrel that doesn’t involve physical äbüse or a man’s temporary inability to provide food for the family becomes an excuse to leave the marriage. They’ll tag it ‘my mental health is more important than the marriage.’
Madam, let me tell you this: Marriage is not rosy, and it never will be. Many of us witnessed how our fathers’ neglect turned our mothers into jäcks of all trades, giving them the strength to survive and keep the family afloat. If you want your marriage to succeed, you need to learn a skill, start a business, or have a source of income before stepping into marriage. That way, you won’t leave unnecessarily because, let’s face it, no marriage out there is perfect okwu nke oseburuwa.”
