A Nigerian man has taken to social media to share his unfortunate experience of losing a promising job opportunity due to his excessive use of the word “we” during an interview. He explained how he initially believed that emphasizing teamwork would make him a more appealing candidate but later realized it had the opposite effect.
In a post on his X (formerly Twitter) page, he recounted how he confidently used “we” throughout his interview responses, thinking it would showcase his ability to collaborate effectively with others. However, the hiring panel was more focused on assessing his individual competencies, leadership capabilities, and personal contributions rather than collective efforts.
He wrote:
“I once failed an interview because I used ‘we’ a lot. I thought it projected me as a team player, but instead, the hiring team struggled to identify my specific skills, contributions, and impact.”
“Be comfortable with saying ‘I’ and focusing solely on what you accomplished.”
He elaborated on how the STAR method—commonly used in behavioral interviews—incorporates the use of “we” in certain areas but requires “I” in others. He provided insights on how candidates should balance their language when responding to interview questions.
According to him, in the STAR method, “we” can be appropriate in the Situation and Result sections, but when it comes to the Task and, most importantly, the Action, candidates should shift the focus to “I” to highlight their individual responsibilities and decisions.
He provided an example:
– Situation (S): We were building a new team with some conflict.
– Task (T): I had to resolve the conflict.
– Action (A): I called for mediation.
– Result (R): We became a more cohesive team.
He further cautioned candidates to be mindful of interviewers who press for more personal contributions:
“If your interviewer follows up with ‘So, more concretely, what were YOUR actions?’ you’re on thin ice. You need to switch up fast, or it’s likely a fail. The nice ones give you this window multiple times.”
His revelation quickly gained traction online, with many social media users who had similar experiences sharing their thoughts and opinions in the comment section.
See some reactions below:
@iamjamesudom: “Didn’t know this was such a big deal until I found out there is a certain fortune 5 company that will never hire you if you ever use the word “we” in your answers irrespective of how great your achievements were.”
@OnukoguFavour: “This happened to me too. I had to learn and I constantly still learn how to say I I I when writing SOPs, letters of motivation, and applying for scholarships. I don’t know if this is a cultural thing, a Nigerian thing, or a personality trait that makes us retract back to we.”
@dod_arj: “Yes! I remember making the same mistake. I kept saying “we”, and the hiring manager hit me with, “So what did you do by yourself?” 😭 I was like, “The we is I too.” 😂 .”
@chuks_olisemeke: “My own was “Yeah”! The man (Founder/CEO) warned I shouldn’t use it again… so he asked if my younger ones were living with me, and I said “Yeah”... End of road.”
@RealVictorMosez: “I found myself in the same predicament, struggling to balance ‘I’ and ‘we’, until I learned the hard way that a strong ‘we’ is built on the actions of a responsible ‘I’.”
@Chimeriri_Kay: “As a team member, be clear on the role you played. Did you design while another implemented, or vice versa? If it’s a talent management team, are you a recruiter, or do you manage succession planning or L&D? Do you manage recruitment end to end, or stop at sourcing? Or does your role start at onboarding?”
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